Randy Newman – Short People

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Some of you know that this summer, my friend and co-conspirator Rustum are working feverishly on developing a math program for our incoming 6th graders next year to FINALLY honestly deal with the fact that kids who don’t have basic math skills CAN’T access the curriculum. “Kids Mastering Math” will be a great success this fall!

One of the biggest challenges was figuring out a way to assign homework to these kids without giving teachers the extra work of grading it, a problem that was solved by allotting each KMM teacher an 8th grade “TA” to do grading, and basic logistical tasks for these teachers! Yay, problem solved!

But as with most things in life, solving one problem usually creates another, ours being that in order to serve as a TA, an 8th grader loses their lunch with their 8th grade friends and is relegated to eat during the 6th grader lunch time, a mighty big sacrifice for a typical middle school teen.

Again, the creative mind of Rustum Jacob came up a solution: a “Front of the Lunch Line” pass which, like an exclusive black American Express card, will upon display entitle the bearer to cut in line for food and snack, a privilege which only our 8th grade TAs will receive.

Behold, the prototype!

Before I get tons of angry emails and comments, let me be clear that this is a joke….A JOKE…I don’t want to start any nasty internet rumors….